After cremation, many families choose to divide the ashes of a loved one so each person can honour them in their own meaningful way. Whether for practical, emotional, or spiritual reasons, splitting ashes is a growing and respected option—but one that comes with both logistical and emotional considerations.
This guide explains everything you need to know about dividing cremated ashes among family members.
Why Families Choose to Split Ashes
- Honouring Multiple Wishes: Sometimes a loved one asked to have their ashes scattered in more than one place—or different family members have places they associate with the person.
- Personal Connection: Each family member may want to keep a part of the ashes in a keepsake urn, necklace, or memorial item.
- Geographical Distance: When family members live far apart, splitting ashes allows each to create their own tribute in their location.
- Conflict Avoidance: It may help avoid disputes by ensuring each person receives an equal share, especially in blended families or among siblings.
Is It Legal to Split Ashes?
Yes. In the UK and most countries, ashes are not considered property, but once returned to the family, they may be divided if done respectfully. There is no law against splitting ashes, though it’s advisable to agree among immediate family and avoid handling them without consent.
How Are Ashes Split?
- At the Crematorium: Some crematoria or funeral directors can assist in dividing ashes into multiple urns or containers.
- At Home: You may gently transfer the ashes using a funnel and gloves, with care and calm. It’s a good idea to:
- Place a sheet or newspaper underneath.
- Use a spoon or scoop for even distribution.
- Label each container clearly
What to Use for Shared Ashes
You can divide ashes into:
- Miniature urns – Small urns made specifically for splitting.
- Keepsake jewellery – Lockets, pendants, or rings.
- Glass or crystal memorials – Where a small portion of ashes is infused into art.
- Biodegradable tubes – For those planning to scatter their share in nature.
Emotional Considerations
- Talk it through: Some people may feel uneasy about splitting ashes. Ensure open, honest conversation and mutual respect.
- Ceremony or Ritual: You might wish to hold a short ceremony when dividing the ashes—this can provide emotional closure and dignity to the process.
- Ongoing Harmony: Avoid making decisions alone. If possible, involve close family in a shared decision-making process to honour everyone’s feelings.
When Not to Split Ashes
- If the deceased made a clear request not to be divided
- If it causes tension or unresolved conflict in the family
- If religious or cultural beliefs prohibit it