After a loved one is cremated, families often wonder what happens next—especially if they plan to scatter the ashes. This guide walks you through the entire process, from receiving the ashes to planning and performing a scattering ceremony. Understanding each step helps ensure the experience is thoughtful, smooth, and respectful.
Step 1: Receiving the Ashes
Once the cremation is complete (usually within a few days of the service), the ashes are returned to the family in a temporary container or basic urn. You can:
- Keep them in the original container
- Transfer them to a decorative or biodegradable urn
- Separate them into smaller keepsake urns if multiple family members will take part
The ashes are typically a fine, light grey powder, often weighing 2–3 kilograms for an adult.
Step 2: Deciding What to Do Next
Before scattering the ashes, consider:
- Where you want to scatter them (sea, forest, garden, mountain, etc.)
- Who will attend the ceremony
- Whether you want a religious, spiritual, or secular tone
- If you need any permissions or legal clearances (especially for private land or public parks)
- Whether part of the ashes should be kept in a memorial item like jewellery or a keepsake
Step 3: Planning the Ceremony
You can choose a formal, informal, or private scattering. Key elements include:
- Selecting a meaningful date—birthday, anniversary, or special season
- Inviting close family or friends
- Bringing items like:
- Flowers or petals to release.
- A photo or memory table.
- Readings, poems, or music.
Some families write down a few words to say or hold a celebration of life alongside the scattering.
Step 4: Performing the Scattering
Here’s what to expect when actually scattering the ashes:
- Check wind direction – stand upwind to avoid ashes blowing back
- Hold the urn low to the ground or water to allow gentle dispersal
- Pour slowly and mindfully—many find this a deeply emotional moment
- You can scatter:
- From hand or urn directly
- Into the sea from a boat
- Over a hillside or garden
In a circular pattern or even a trench shape forming initials or symbols
Step 5: After the Scattering
- Take a moment of silence, reflection, or group hug
- You may place a temporary marker, throw petals, or leave a token (if allowed)
- Record the location and date in a keepsake journal or memory book
- Some families choose to return annually to the same spot as a ritual of remembrance